Stranger
by electrocute123
Summary: Bella has finished school, her life is normal nothing to complain about, but she can't escape that nagging feeling that she's forgotten something huge. Espeically when a dangerous stranger turns up to turn her life upside down.
1. Chapter 1

The snow fell still and silently down into our faces. Edward fell to his knees, me still in his arms, despite the snow and the coolness of his body I was warmer than I'd felt in months - and getting warmer with every tingle in my body. Understanding filled the silence, broken eventually by his tearless sobs. This was the only thing that brought a sense of pain back into my heart, almost wiping the smile completely from my still lips. Edward's moans cracked in loss, his body arched over mine to protect me and he hugged me closely to his hard chest. My head tucked safely into the crook in his neck I couldn't see his face. _Don't cry, I wanted to say please don't cry_, _I hate to see you cry_. But my lips wouldn't move for me, they wouldn't part and I wouldn't inhale.  
I felt like I was being torn away from Edward.  
And then, only then.  
I was suddenly scared.

* * *

Eight months ago I was happy, well, not entirely, but my life was normal, dully normal in fact - nothing huge to complain about. Then on an ordinary Monday morning, it was consequentially turned upside down. 

'Excuse me Miss?' someone was calling me, could they not see that I was in the middle of something? I typed the last of my sentence out, sighed, and turned my gaze upwards. What met my eyes next knocked the breath back into my lungs.  
His eyes were black, inviting, but somehow cold. They were set symmetrically into his sharp features; his cheekbones were high and his lips full, red, contrasting against the translucent white of his skin. God! I cursed under my breath; any girl would kill for a face that beautiful!

'Can I help you?' I asked, stuttering over the words. He smiled, the edges of his perfect lips twitching up at the corners in an almost playful tease.

'Yes, could you find me a book? It's the Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling' his voice was smooth, low and husky, hiding a hint of humour.

'Um, yep, let me just check that one up for you' I hurried to find what he wanted on my computer screen, my long awkward fingers failing me, acting stupid and slow. 'aha, there it is…right' I pushed my chair back from the desk and rose swiftly, stumbling along the aisles, and gesturing for him to follow 'you'll find that... Right here…yes' I slipped the correct book out of its place on the shelves and passed it into his white hands.

'Thanks' he smiled down at me, flicking his sleek black hair from his curious eyes, 'I'm James Moore' he declared, thrusting out his hand. I shook it shyly, his skin was cold, smooth but hard. I took another quiet gasp of shock.

'Um- I'm Bella, Isabella Swan' he nodded too quickly, as if he already knew this.

'Right well, thank you Isabella, how long can I keep this out for?' his gaze sunk into mine, sending my stomach fluttering and my knees wobbling.

'Uh-um, a week, one week' I bobbed my head, trying to appear casual, while my darting eyelashes gave me away 'I'll um get your name down, James Moore is it?' I asked, even though I clearly had memorised every syllable and noun of his name since he had first given it to me.

'Yes, well, I'll see you soon then Miss. Swan' he finished off the limited conversation politely and walked out of the library as graceful as a cat with one last smile over his shoulder.  
I stifled a giggle and walked back to the desk, swinging myself into the chair and jotting down his name in the out books.

'Bella! I told you to go home an hour ago! Your Dads been calling, didn't I tell you?' I looked up from my doodling and met the accusing glare of Clair Donald's. She wasn't much older than Charlie, but her eyes were worn, wrinkled and bleak, her hair stripped completely of its original black now lay in wispy strands of grey around her heart shaped face.

'Alright, alright Claire! I'll just clear up here and head out' I assured her, giving the pretence of packing away my things.  
This seemed to satisfy her, as she turned her bent back on me and began to huddle out of the room into her small office, 'oh and remember dear, be careful, I hear a real storm brewing' she waved a tired withered looking hand at me and bustled about closing the door with a quiet snap.  
I slumped back into the chair, sighed and brushed my fingers through my hair. Days working at the library were long. Being surrounded by books all day was oddly tiresome. But it was much better than being stuck in at home, unemployed and bored with unsatisfying phone calls from Mike Newton.  
Ever since graduation things had gone down hill for my social life. This suited me fine - but left me with little to do to keep myself occupied. My life was dully normal, but every now and then, I couldn't help but feel like something great was missing, like a piece in my memory had erased itself - a period of time just submerged into everything else, unnoticed and unfulfilled…

A distant roll of thunder brought me back to my senses. The clock on the wall read ten past seven pm. I'd worked overtime again, Claire never usually minded, but every now and then Charlie would ring up worried. And unsurprisingly Claire wasn't one to want to get in trouble with the chief.  
I yawned, stretching my arms and legs and slid out from behind the desk.  
The wind had picked up outside, tearing at my clothes and whipping my hair around my neck. The rain pounded down onto my head as I ran to my truck and clambered into the cab. Claire had been right about the storm, if it was going to get any worse than this I had to make my way back quickly, missing the stop off at the groceries store. The engine chugged into life with a roar and a groan.

'I know, I know' I patted the steering wheel supportively as the truck whined while it pulled out of the parking lot and onto the empty high street. The windscreen wipers worked away, furiously; determined to clear my driving vision- but it only worsened. The rain coming down in thick, heavy sheets. I eased along the slippery road like a snail, at this rate it would take an hour to get home. Oh well, I yawned exhaustedly, better to be safe than sorry.  
Bursts of lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the curtains of rain that plundered down from the black heavens. Rolls of thunder followed on, crashing together like giant angry fists. I shivered, it was growing cold and the ancient heater was bust. Pulling my coat around me tightly the road was again enlightened with a show of lightning, just for a second but long enough for me to notice a dark figure standing directly in front of my headlights.  
I hit hard on the brakes, screeching the truck to a shuddering stop. Gasping I wiped away at the misted windscreen, searching desperately for what I had just seen there seconds before.  
That was so strange. There had been something there. Dark, large, it almost looked like a giant bird, an oddly deformed shape.  
But there was nothing there now.  
I shook my head, perhaps I was even more tired than I thought I was, then slammed the truck into reverse. It moaned in a loud protest but got moving nonetheless, as eager as I was to get back home.

I pulled into the drive, shutting down the truck for the night and dashing indoors, bringing tails of storm in puddles around my feet.

'Bella?' Charlie shouted from the couch.

'Yes Dad it's me'

'how was work?' he called. I stopped on my way to the kitchen, observing him lounged out in front of the TV, eyes glued to the flashing screen.

'Fine thanks, have you eaten? Sorry I'm late again, I did leave some spaghetti out for you' I turned away and slouched into the kitchen, taking in the washed bowl and empty pots.

'Yeah I did hunny, thanks'

'right well - I'm gunna get washed up and go to bed, night Dad' I turned, and limply began to climb the stairs leading to my room. Shutting the door behind me I threw myself onto the bed, aware now of how my eyes itched for sleep. With a final shred of energy, I pulled the covers over my head and fell asleep still in my wet clothes.

Dawn broke through the window, a bright grey light that cast shadows around the room. Remembering I'd forgotten to close the curtains I tried to pull the covers over my head, only to then remember the reason to why they were so damp. I groaned, it must be at least 6.30 in the morning. The rain having stopped sometime during the night left an eerie silence hovering around the room.  
I stretched and got up, the floor felt revivingly cool under my feet, as I made my way silently to the bathroom. Charlie would be up soon anyway, I decided, while I lifted the rain soaked clothes off of my shivering body and started up the shower.  
The water fell smoothly across my skin, hot and comforting, sliding its way down my shoulder blades and into the dip of my back. I flinched, turning my body towards the shower head and positioning my back away from the heat.  
Today was a Sunday, I remembered with a tear in my stomach - the most boring day of the week, the library was shut and with no friends to meet I had all but nothing to do.

'Bella?' Charlie called me from my hole of self pity,

'Yeah?' I shouted over the sound of running water.

'I'm heading off now, have a nice day' I snorted at that last comment. Unlikely. Like Sunday was ever a nice day.

'Okay Dad, you too' I heard the front door bang shut and jumped out of the shower, into the steamy room. Towel drying my hair I snatched some clothes from the dry rack, and pulled them over my damp figure. The clothes clung to me awkwardly, the sleeves of my shirt hanging down useless against my sides.  
Usually I'd be finishing some work, but with no more school, there was no more school work to be done, so, lightly, I jumped downstairs, grabbed my raincoat from the sofa and headed swiftly outdoors into the crisp morning air.  
Birds sung in the close green forest, a sweet melody, echoing in time with the other. I took a step forwards into the empty road, unsure yet which path I was going to venture.  
I looked into the trees and decided on the one I had followed yesterday morning. It was small and secluded winding its way around the thorns and mud that boobitrapped the forest, perfect and hidden.  
I crossed the short distance separating me from the woods and entered the green entanglement, treading carefully over any dangerous roots or twigs.  
The route was narrow, surrounded on both sides by rising trees and damp shrubs. Sometimes it would disappear altogether and I'd have to fight my way through clumps of painful branches to clear my footing again.  
I walked further than I'd gone yesterday, listening to the melodic birds answer the calls of other animals and insects and enjoying the fresh air that mornings always promised.  
After a while it began to rain, the water penetrated the forest, dropping through the canopy and falling onto my head and drizzling down my back. The sound it made was eerie, a soft pattering echoing through the tightly enclosed surroundings - everything else was abruptly silenced.  
I quickened my pace, striding clumsily over large rolls of bark and jutting rocks. The rain fell faster, matching with my steps, thundering down into the mossy undergrowth.  
The familiar feeling of being watched crept slowly over me, raising the hairs on the back of my neck. I looked around, sure that someone or something else was around, hiding behind a tree or lurking behind the next tall bush. A branch was broken somewhere to my right with a cracking thud, causing me to stop and jerk around frantically.

'Hello?' I called into the unknown twists and turns of the dark forest beyond my pitiful vision. My voice sounded frightened, childish even, as I called again for someone to come out. Nothing happened. The stretching silence sent my nerves haywire, my feet fidgeted for movement, but fear had me rooted to the ground. I could sense something staring back at me through the dank darkness a few feet beyond my nose, I could feel something's presence, something lurking in the shadows just beyond my sight.  
I waited for another minute before quickly turning and running head long back towards home, unaware of how deep I had come today.  
I tripped and stumbled, too scared to take care of cuts and bruises I would achieve by running so fast.  
The feeling didn't pass, whatever it was, must still be around - following my destructive path through the wet vegetation. I ran for a while, not slowing my desperate pace until the feeling wondered away and the edge of the trees approached. I could see the road through the gaps in the leaves, framing the house and my safe truck based protectively outside.  
I broke through the hostile branches noisily and hit the tarmac with an ear splitting smack. Hurriedly I went to rise, balancing my weight onto my hands while my knees scraped to regain original footing. I stood and brushed off the dirt, mildly noting the cuts and new bruises that stained my skin, and took a step forwards to cross the road, raising my lowered head but not in time to notice him standing directly in front of me. My ridiculously fragile body collided with his hard, armor like muscle. His cold arms went quickly around me, steadying and preventing my second fatal fall.

'James! Hi!' I stumbled to get out of his grip, afraid of my reddening cheeks.

'Hi Isabella-'

'Bella'

'sorry, Bella, I noticed the library was closed today' his voice sounded strained, hoarse, different from his smooth husky tone that I remembered. His appearance was messy, the dark purple circles under his eyes sharpened, illuminating the strange black that they had become. His skin was whiter than I had ever imagined; vibrant blue veins showing beneath the translucent complexion of his neck. 'Are you alright Bella?' he asked, taking in my disheveled appearance and turning my wondering thoughts back on me. I hesitated for a good excuse to why I was a wreck from head to toe.

'Um well, I fell over, you must have seen me surely' I came up with the obvious escape answer and turned the conversation's headlights away from my apparent state. 'Are you alright yourself? You look tired, was there a special reason you came to find me?'  
He hesitated, an unreadable expression flickering across his brow. 'well I went to take that book back, but it wasn't open, I needed an excuse to come see you, but that blew over, so I just came to find you instead' I blushed, unable to hide it this time, I wasn't used to being hit on so blatantly. His eyes lit up in amusement. It was strange; something about that statement just didn't seem to fit. 'So in conclusion, would you let me take you to lunch - well - breakfast' he flashed me a dazzling smile, his teeth sharp, and brilliantly white.

'Well - uh why don't you come in?' I suggested hurriedly, wanting nothing more than to get freshened up. His eyes flashed even brighter - obviously having got further along the date scale than he had anticipated being. 'Oh well you know, just so I can put on some dry clothes, then we can head out somewhere' I suggested, quickly extinguishing any hope he had of getting on very well while Charlie was at work.

'Sure' he smiled, his polite charm having survived the subtle blow to his ego.

'Great' I led him across the road and unlocked the front door to the house. He closed it once on the inside and followed me into the kitchen. 'You can wait here, I really won't be long!' I headed back out and up the stairs shouting 'help yourself to a drink!' on my way.  
When safely in my room I practically pulled apart my wardrobe hoping to spot something slightly attractive to wear. I ended up with an old top, low cut and oddly morbid, and pulled it hurriedly over my head, discarding my limp wet one onto the bed. Then I re-entered the mess of clothes that clustered the old wardrobe and found a new-ish pair of black jeans I'd never worn before, tight enough and accordingly in fashion, a present from Renée of course. I tore a brush quickly through my hair, then, half falling down the stairs in my haste, I straightened myself out and put on a cool, indifferent expression before turning the corner and entering the kitchen.  
James had seated himself upon the worktop, with an oddly unopened soda resting in his hands. He looked up as I came in and smiled, his eyes growing bright in appreciation.

'You look good' he said, his eyes straying over my figure. I felt the red flush up my neck and into my cheeks, betraying my appearance of cool and relaxed. He laughed, then jumped down lightly and walked over to me, a little closely for someone I'd just met - but that didn't stop my pulse racing around my heart; sending it haywire.  
He was tall, at least a head or so more than me, I looked up into his gaze, noticing how silkily his dark hair fell into his reddish eyes. I puzzled away, unconsciously taking a step backwards.

'What's the matter?' he asked, shying away a step or two in response. I put a hand to my hair then looked curiously back at him.

'Just your eyes - are you wearing contacts?' he laughed serenely then led the way out of the house, leaving my question unanswered.  
It had begun to rain again, lightly, leaving the air humid with a heavy sense of anticipation.  
James followed my thoughts and looked skyward into the large oppressive clouds.

'looks like another storm coming' he stated confidently and strolled over to his little black convertible, parked outside on the road, opening the passenger's door for me. I clambered clumsily down into the leather seat and flinched slightly as he slammed it shut. It was about then I began to wander what I was really doing, hardly knowing this man, yet his absolute charm and good looks quickly diminished these be-sensible-Bella-what-would-Charlie-say thoughts.  
He got in beside me, swiftly and smoothly, having obviously done it a thousand times over, and started the engine. It was a huge contrast to my '54 Chevy truck, having a soft, alluring, purr instead of a raging, almost frightening, roar. I chuckled, despite myself and looked quickly out of the window to hide my amusement.  
'What's so funny?' he asked, my efforts having failed me again.

'Oh nothing, ha, just it's a little different to my usual transport'

'What that big old truck?' his tone was curious instead of judgmental, even so I couldn't help but get defensive, me and that faithful truck had gotten a lot more stick then we deserved.

'It's actually not that old and as for big? Well it's pretty darn good for some of these stupid forest "roads" ' I speech bubbled that last word, then glanced over and laughed at his expression. An odd look of delight and confusion spread across his pale features.

'I agree! Something a little more stable than this would be perfect for this town, though I wouldn't really need it - I actually live in Port Angeles see' I stared blankly for a faction of a second then nodded.

'Yeah, something a bit more flash would be better for the city I suppose' he laughed, and I laughed along with him, until he pulled out onto the freeway and shifted the gear stick into fifth. The car lurched forwards eagerly, shuddering slightly at the speed it was allowed to travel at.

I gripped the sides of the cream leather seat and glanced briefly at the blur of green and grays outside before feeling a little queasy. I turned my head fully away from his line of vision and squeezed my eyes shut tight, becoming acutely aware of the knotty feeling of unease in the pit of my stomach. Slightly confused of whether it was due to the rueful speed of the tiny black car or the fact that I was in it with a stranger traveling into the unknown. It was both terrifying and exiting. In the end the excitement won, battling its way across my stomach and unleashing the butterflies.

'So where are you taking me?' I questioned, my voice a little higher than I had intended it to be.

'Well let's see - there's this great fish place down in Port Angeles, it's pretty near my place, or there's this nice little café, small real sweet, if you fancy something lighter' I contemplated the possible outcomes of going to a restaurant near his home then decided on the latter option.

'Um, the café sounds good to me' He smiled neatly and quite abruptly pulled off the freeway and entered the city of Newport. 'That was fast!' I exclaimed, looking around me to really confirm where we were.  
He chuckled.

'Car good for cities remember'.

The café was indeed small, vines crept up the walls of the outside area and little two seated circular tables clustered the spaces between the outside and in. Candles and small vases of flowers were propped up in the middle of them, setting the scene along with the compacted cobble grounds.  
The café was unmistakably made for couples. Shifting a little on the spot I watched as James greet the waitress with recognising warmth. I wandered briefly how many times he came here while she led us to a table in the corner beside the small framed windows, having a nice view of the inside where more lovers were seated nicely but clumsily around the room.

'So, d'you like it? We can go someplace else if you want' he offered, observing my expression tentatively. I breathed in deeply, smelling the sweet pungent scent of the lavender in the little pink vase.

'No, it's lovely, really it is' I assured, my statement full of complete truth. 'It's really nice'. He looked one last time at my reassuring gaze, then, satisfied, picked up the menu and scanned it briefly before replacing it in the menu stand. I did the same, quicker, subconsciously determined on not letting him have any kind of upper hand. He smiled slightly, though it did not reach his eyes, it still made his face look surreally handsome.

'Miss' he called, raising a hand into the air to call her over, all the while keeping steady eye contact with me.  
The waitress came over quicker than she had probably intended to and stared at James while he ordered a coffee. 'What would you like Bella?' he added as the waitress was obviously oblivious to my presence until he pointed it out. She turned her dull, boring eyes over to me with reluctance, her pen positioned pointedly on her notepad.

'The same please' I asked, though my stomach screamed at my negligence. Later I reassured it, I don't want to look like a pig, if he orders a coffee; that's all I order too. James looked quickly over to me then snatched up his menu abnormally fast and ordered me a pain o'chocolat without hesitance.  
I stared at him, wild eyed for a moment before realising and closed my mouth, looking down at my napkin before he'd noticed. When I glanced back up he was looking intensely at me, unabashed by my notice, he continued to gaze into my eyes until I felt dizzy. The waitress returned just in time to stop me fainting and placed our orders in front of us. The smell wafting up at me left me a little light headed but still I took my time in eating and sipping politely, listening to his mostly one sided conversation for a while until I had finished eating and had no excuse to give for my silence.

'Well Bella, I've mused over how it is to live here and what the weather's usually up to at all times of the year. Now tell me something interesting, tell me something about you' he smiled encouragingly at me over the table. I replaced my mug on the frilly coaster in front of me, sighed deeply and said,

'What d'you want to know?' the question seemed small enough but his demands were bigger, alarmingly overconfident for someone I'd just met.

'Have you lived in Forks your whole life? How come you don't live with your mum, where is she? Have you ever been in love? What's your favourite colour?' I stared blankly, taken aback with his abruptness, his almost desperate need to know everything about me at once. Then, before I could answer something else snagged on my warning alert list.

'How did you know I don't live with my mum?' he seemed to hesitate. But for less than a heartbeat, going unnoticed before he answered swiftly;

'You told me earlier'

'No I didn't'

'Yeah you mentioned something about someone called Charlie, so I assumed you were living with your steady long-term boyfriend until you agreed to go on a date with me. And to which I concluded that you had a suitably female roommate named Charlie, and therefore no longer lived with your parents' he held my gaze levelly, it was a good explanation, I couldn't find a flaw in it - no doubt I had let something slip about Charlie though I couldn't remember doing so, it wasn't impossible.

'Okay- um let's see, I used to live in Phoenix until I moved here at the beginning of last year, Charlie's not my boyfriend or my roommate, he's actually my Dad' I watched carefully as I said this and noticed, satisfyingly, the quick flicker of surprise flash across his brow. 'Um, Charlie and Renée split when I was a baby, she lives in Jacksonville with her new baseball champ boyfriend' I paused, pondering on how much I was actually telling this stranger about me, but couldn't resist this strange pull to tell him everything 'I haven't been in love before' my heart suddenly did a strange kind of back flip as I glanced up into James' now hard black eyes. 'And my favourite colour is grey'. I finished with a little nod and relaxed back into the spindly wicker chair. Suddenly feeling exhausted.  
He continued to look at me with that inappropriate kind of intensity, the hardness of his eyes softened a little, turning an odd burgundy colour.

'How d'you do that?' I couldn't help myself.

'Do what?'

'Like change your eyes, they were black before' He took a quick gulp of coffee, then answered me, this time looking up at the vines over our heads.

'Family trait' I puzzled over that for a moment, deciding if it was really possible to inherit eyes that changed colour every other minute.

'So, how 'bout you?' I asked 'D'you live with your parents?' he made a disgusted noise and crinkled his nose.

'I haven't lived with my parents since I was 14' he plonked his mug un-carefully back onto his own frilly coaster, causing the hot liquid to slop over the sides onto his fingers. He didn't seem to notice.

'Uh- how come?' I dared myself to push him for more, while tearing my goggle eyed stare away from his surely scorching fingers. He took a deep breath but didn't hesitate.

'She was a bad woman, my mum, alcoholic, drugs, I won't go into it. Well then there's my Dad, doesn't know what to do with her when she gets out of hand -so he gets out of hand too. It gets a bit crazy. Every day it was like that. I was about 13 when I realised that I actually didn't count in this one on one family war anymore, so a year later, I packed up my bags and left' I looked down into my mug, finding it hard to look him in the face any more,  
'S-so where did you go after that?' my voice cracked slightly.

'Ah, another story for another time' I looked up in time to catch his boyish wink. I cringed; perhaps he wasn't the smooth operator I assumed he was.

'So, have you left school?' I asked, changing the subject to lighter things.

'Yeah, I have, I left 4 years ago'

'so that would make you-'

'22' my stomach tightened, Charlie would flip. I hadn't thought about his age before, only 4 years older than me, I thought innocently, but if I took him home, we would definitely have to sort that out, a little white lie wouldn't hurt. 'What about you?' he asked. I swore under my breath; lie or tell the truth? The temptation to tell him I was 22 in September was amazingly strong.

'Uh- 18, I was 18 in September' _damn._

'Cool' he smiled, seemingly un-repelled by this latest information. He reached across the table, taking me completely by surprise, and grabbed my hand. He skin was ice cold and hard, like stone. I gasped again, as I had done the first time he'd touched me, but quickly disguised it as a stifled yawn.

'Are you tired?'

'No, not at all' I lied.

'come on, you've finished your coffee, I'll take you home'

* * *

The drive home was even shorter, the same built up anxiety crawled it's way into my chest as the car flew down the freeway, but in no time at all he pulled up in front of the house. 

'Thanks James, I've had fun' I smiled as I climbed out of the ridiculously low convertible. Once feet securely on the ground I turned to face him again before shutting the door.

'Hey, might see you 'round yeah?'

'Yeah, see yah' I swung the door closed, thinking nothing more of the demand he'd just asked of me,  
and skipped lightly across the porch to unlock the door.

'Hey Bells where've you been?' Charlie's disembodied voice called to me from somewhere in the house. 'Mike Newton called' I rolled my eyes in relief, thinking of the alternative day I might have had with Mike.

'Uh- um I was just out getting the groceries I didn't pick up yesterday'

'Groceries?' Charlie appeared around the corner to the kitchen, leaning against the frame with an accusing glare set sternly across his tired face. 'Your truck was still there when I got back, besides-'

'I walked-'

'It's closed today- you walked?' his eyebrows shot into the air, carving deep unflattering lines across his forehead. I needed to think quickly to get out of this one.

'Yeah I walked, but it was only when I got there I realised it was shut, hence I have no groceries' I rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen, dismissing the matter. Charlie was never good at arguing.  
I rummaged around in the fridge before spotting some old pots of noodles. 'Just noodles tonight Dad then, that alright chief?' I heard Charlie sigh from the doorway before slouching into the living room and flicking on the TV.

'Yeah, that's fine hunny' I smiled despite myself, having successfully gotten out of that sticky spot rather well. I cooked the noodles and dished them out into two bowls before washing up the pan I'd used.

'Dad! It's ready' I called from the kitchen, a moment later he shuffled in and gabbed his bowl and fork from the table,

'Thanks Bells' I heard him mumble as he shuffled back out to the TV. I sighed, brushing a hand through my hair and looked my own bowl full of food up and down before realising I wasn't the slightest bit hungry, all the excitement of the day had done away with any instinct to eat. So instead, I packaged the noodles into a little blue tub and set it aside for another night, washed up my bowl and skipped two a step to reach my room.  
It was dark, not unusual for an afternoon in Forks. Flicking the overhead light on the room was quickly bathed in a yellow neon light. I stepped in, closing the door with a sharp snap, and collapsed onto my bed. The springs shrieked in protest before groaning and moulding into my shape.  
I reflected with flutters in my stomach the day I had had with James, and fell asleep thinking of his face.

_Someone was looking at me through the grass. His eyes were like liguid. Hot, flowing topaz that held that similar intensity of someone else I knew. His skin was white and smooth, like marble, and his bronze hair tickled and curved the shape of his neck. The sky overhead was periwinkle blue as far as I could see. And the green, green grass filled my nostrils with their scent as they blew together playfully in the wind. _

_'Bella?' his voice was soft and deep but somewhat distant. He smiled at my confused stare, his mouth raising in the one corner into a crooked grin. I sighed, gazing up; he was beautiful, no, beautiful wasn't the right word- indescribable... Why was everyone so indescribably beautiful?_

_'Bella, can you hear me?' he was asking, his lovely voice becoming further and further away._

_'Who are you?' I asked innocently. His crooked smile disappeared. And his eyes were instead filled with an indescribable pain. 'Oh! I didn't mean to offend you! I'm sorry' I said frantically, desperately wanting him to stay. But too late, the gorgeous boy was already walking swiftly away through the meadow we were in, quickly becoming a dot in the distance._

I woke up to darkness. Charlie must have come in and turned out the light, I thought guiltily as I raised myself off the creaking bed. A sudden cold breeze rooted my feet to the spot, it was quick - but the affect was terrifying, like someone breathing cold gushes of wind right onto my face. I shivered and tried to look around the darkness. I stayed where I was for over a minute, too scared to move. I ended up feeling like a child again, scared of the dark and of the ghosts it might be hiding. But all the same I practically sprinted the few feet between the bed and the light switch.  
I flipped it on triumphantly and watched as the room was thrown into light. I laughed warily as I spied the open window and crossed over confidentially to close it. But as I reached the frame and slid my hand outside to reach for the handle, I noticed with unease the hot humid night outside. Not a breath of wind. I shuddered again and looked shakily at the overthrown chair in the corner beside me.  
Someone had been watching me sleep.  
There was a sudden bang from behind me, and I whirled around to face the now inhabited doorway.


	2. Chapter 2

'Bella? Bella what's wrong? What is it?' Charlie advanced towards me, his arms outstretched into a zombie-like stance. I screamed again and felt my knees buckle as he grabbed my shoulders. 'Bella?' His voice was getting urgent. 'Did you have a bad dream?'

I reflected onto the brief moment of calm I had experienced before awakening into the brief moment of fear stricken panic, and shook my head.

'I thought somebody was in the room, you know, before you came in. In fact I could have _sworn_ somebody else was in here' I looked around, unconvinced.

'Aw Bells' Charlie rubbed my arms roughly, in a feeble attempt to quieten my shudders. 'Why's that?'

I shook my head again, unable really to explain it all in words.

'Well - you know when you sorta get that feeling? Like you're being watched?' I sighed, and restrained the sudden impulse to sob like a child. Charlie noticed my despair and pulled me into an uncharacteristic Dad - daughter style hug. I didn't pull away and cringe like I might have done yesterday, instead I soaked in all the warmth and comfort you can only get from the company of another human being.

* * *

Morning was grey, damp yet incredibly satisfying as I got out of bed into the cool, minimally lit room. I had survived the night before without a horrific nightmare to scar me for the rest of the week, but the result was a bad nights rest.

I staggered out into the hallway and entered the bathroom at sloth pace. I didn't bother to look in the mirror, already knowing what I would look like; pale, fragile, with protruding dark circles under my red, puffy eyes. I groaned and looked at my watch, 8.55 am. I had precisely 5 minutes to get to the library.

Oh well, I thought, _I've worked enough overtime to last me a month's late mornings. _

'Bella hunny! I'm off!' Charlie called to me from downstairs. I groaned again, he was already late for work because _I _had kept him awake half the night.

'Yeah- okay Dad, bye!' I slammed the toothpaste back into the jar by the sink and walked a little faster back into my room before getting changed for work.

I pulled on a plain grey top, my usual jeans, and plaited my hair into one wiry long tail down my back, grabbed an apple and my jacket from the kitchen table, and set off to work in my truck.

It began to rain halfway there, light at first, pattering softly onto my windscreen, but by the time I pulled up in the parking lot it fell like buckets onto my head, soaking me in the few seconds it took to reach the library doors.

I swung them open and tripped over my own feet in my haste to get under dry shelter.

Claire was already sitting in the chair behind the reception desk, drumming her bony fingers onto the polished wood surface and flicking annoyed glances at her wrist watch.

'You're late Bella' she didn't even look up but pushed herself away from the desk and stomped rather childishly into her office. I didn't worry much, no doubt she'd forgotten all about it the moment she'd shut her office door, instead I settled into my swivel chair and prepared myself for a long day's wallowing.

I didn't realise until he cleared his throat that he was standing in front of my desk, a hint of a smile getting to work at the corners of his red lips.

'Hey Bella' I had to catch my breath before it escaped my open mouth in a gusty sigh, and I almost forgot how to speak.

'Hi, hi James'

'I came to return that book.'

I felt the frown spread slowly across my forehead as I puzzled over why he was talking about books, then remembered the library surroundings that were my workplace.

I smiled in embarrassment and fumbled for the keyboard, typing then deleting, then attempting to type again his, oh so perfect name.

He passed me the book from his duffle while I keyed in the information onto my computer screen.

'I um, didn't hear you come in' I decided small-talk was best suited for the occasion and gave my best at a confident smile.

'See that's my tactic, stalk then strike' I gawped, my own naivety creating wild fantasies in my head within seconds. He laughed so loudly it startled the expected silence of the library and Claire stuck her long nose round the door before quickly shutting it again upon my intent gaze. 'It was a joke stupid!' he laughed some more, the sound filling my stomach with misbehaving butterflies. I blushed, looking down and playing absentmindedly with a loose strand of hair.

'So, where shall I leave this then?' He prompted me, indicating the book still waiting in his hands.

'In that tray there, thanks' I expected all manner of small-talk to be over, as the task at hand was completed, we would have nothing else to use an excuse to continue talking, but James carried on gallantly.

'Did you get much sleep last night?' The question took me completely off guard and I felt my jaw drop rather idiotically. 'I mean, you look tiered, that's all'

'Oh.' Well, that wasn't much better. My hand absentmindedly traced the soft skin beneath my eyes, as if my fingers would magic away the purple shadows that dwelt there.

'I was thinking of getting out another book, I figured you're the book type, do you know any good ones?' He grinned, I half expected him to wink and his teeth to sparkle. I shook my head slightly to stop myself staring while a plan was hatching itself in my mind.

'Yep, right down there' I directed him, pointing to the back of the room. He turned. My plan worked.

'Where exactly?' He called, as my eyes drifted elsewhere.

'Umm, right at the butt' I gasped, he paused, 'the back! The back I mean the back!' I instinctively hid my face in my hands, and could feel my cheeks burning already as the sound of his perfect laughter rang through the library walls.

'I'll take this one thanks!' His voice sounded close to my ear and I started up in surprise. He stood right in front of the desk, calm with a grin still hovering about his dark features. I eyed the distance from the back of the room to my desk, could he have made it in seconds?

'You sure do walk fast' I commented as I stamped the book and noted it into my 'out book' folder, which these days was sadly empty.

'Olympic Athlete' He grinned again. I sighed, with those legs, I couldn't disagree.

I handed him the hefty book, willing our hands to touch. They didn't, and I slumped back into my chair, worryingly disappointed. 'Thanks, so, I'll see you soon Bella. Bye!' He left through the doors and into the pouring rain, with his departing promise leaving me on the edge of my seat.

I spent the rest of the day and night restlessly waiting for the next day to begin. Hoping, although severely doubting for James' swift return to the library.

My patience was rewarded however, when James strode confidently through the library doors almost as soon as they were unlocked the next morning.

'Hello Mr. Athlete' I smiled, surprisingly even more nervous than I had been in our last meeting.

'Hey Bella, I'm returning that book'. He placed it in the tray.

'My, you sure read like an athlete' I murmured and it didn't go unheard. He chuckled under his breath.

'The book wasn't really to my liking'

'Oh, perhaps you'd like to choose a different one.'

'From the back right?' He said, the playful mocking in his words turning my face the red colour of his sweatshirt in seconds. He laughed and leaned forwards, placing both hands onto the desk, his face ducking irresistibly close. 'Or you could let me take you out again.' I probably completely lost the cool laid back I-don't-really-care-either-way stance, but I had no way of telling. His face was so close, all I could really think about was how long his eyelashes were. 'Bella?'

'Nes'

'sorry?'

'Yes- no, work, um I have to finish work I mean.' He smiled as I began to stumble over my words, evidently at ease with this kind of up front approach.

'Okay, well, tonight?'

'Tonight? Um no, I actually can't tonight' I could, it was just a bit too soon, I needed time to prepare myself. The last time we'd gone out, I was a complete mess, I wouldn't be this time.

'Tomorrow night?' His eyes sparkled and I grinned.

'That sounds great'

'Great, good, I'll come pick you up at 7' he leaned in even closer, and I thought, for one silly unimaginable moment, that he would kiss me. 'Bye Bella' his breath caught me off guard, ice cold, sweet even. Then, all too soon, he stood up, turned, and walked out of the door.

'Oh, that young man must like the library Miss Swan, he seems to enjoy the tranquil environment as much as I do, I can't see why else he'd return so regularly' Claire bustled out of her office door and started rearranging the books on display around the windows. 'Yes, it's not often you find such young men that have a similar interest in knowledge and literature as the previous generation. Domage!' Claire liked to think she was extremely intellectual, she also liked to think she could speak French, I'm sure she didn't always mean to be crude, her heart was in the right place.

'Yes Claire, I'm sure he's very interested in the library' I sighed, and brushed a hand through my hair, it was going to be a long time to wait, from now until tomorrow night.

Charlie was asleep when I got back after work, lounged out on the sofa with the TV flickering into the darkness, the unnatural light throwing the room into eerie elongated shadows. I tiptoed past into the kitchen, and quietly flipped on the light.

'Bella?' Charlie groaned from the living room 'is that you?'

'Who else could it be Dad?' I pulled the dinner out of the freezer and placed it into the heating oven. Charlie appeared round the corner, and folded himself groggily into a kitchen chair.

'Had a good day?' he asked, his eyelids drooping.

'Sheesh Dad, I'm sorry I woke you up last night. You look really worn out!'

'Don't worry about it kid, I just need some good food down me.' He yawned loudly, stretching his arms behind his head.

'So how was your day?' He persisted, shrinking back into the chair.

'Fine thanks' I bent down to retrieve the meal, then placed it steadily onto the table, 'how was yours? Careful Dad, it's hot'

'thanks, it wasn't bad, wasn't bad. Hey Bells, you don't mind if I eat this by the TV do you? The games on'

'Sure, go ahead' Charlie smiled carefully, analysing my expression, before he took his plate and shuffled back to the TV.

I ate, washed up, then slunk upstairs. My room was dark, and unnervingly cold as I lay down in my bed and prepared myself for enduring another restless night's sleep.

* * *

I was back again, in the meadow filled with grass. Only, this time there were flowers, blooming and swaying in the gentle warm breeze. It wasn't like anywhere in Forks, this beautiful scene was just a figment of my imagination, just like the topaz eyes staring into my own. I lifted myself onto one elbow and looked over his face, his chiselled jaw line, his straight nose, his high cheek bones, and his hot, smouldering eyes .It was all I could do to gaze at his angelic features and wonder how long this dream would go on for.

I began to think, if this was a dream, I could do what I liked. So, leaning up I pressed my lips to the nearest thing they would reach on his face, and ended up kissing his chin. He laughed, deep and smooth and full of unrestrained joy.

'Bella?' The sun glanced onto him, and he shimmered in the light, like a thousand tiny crystals were embedded into his skin. I lay my head back into the grass, and soaked in all the warmth of the dream.

'Mmm, yes?'

'How are you?' The question seemed pointless, unsuited to the moment.

'Why are you asking me that. Don't ask me that, this is my dream and you'll do what I want' he smiled.

'And what do you want princess Isabella?' I made a show of thinking long and hard.

'Kiss me' I decided. He laughed again and leaned over me, closer, until our noses were touching and his eyes were level with my own. I looked into them, they were intense, like somebody else I knew. 'You have eyes like James'. The boy stopped, stiffened and drew back all in a moment, shock clear in his voice.

'Who's James?'

'Just this guy I know, what's the matter?' He stood up, urgency and alarm flashing across his features. And then he was gone, sprinting like the wind across the meadow and disappearing into the darkness of the forest beyond.

* * *

I woke up to a dark morning, cold sweat beading the back of my neck, the end of the dream had taken a worrying turn and still lingered on the edge of my mind.

Charlie had already left by the time I dragged myself downstairs, he'd left a note on the table, with the sentence _gone fishing with Billy _scrawled messily in black ink across an old envelope.

It was a shame I had so little to occupy myself with at the weekends, otherwise I could while away the time until tonight with something productive to do. With one look at the expectedly dreary day outside I ran upstairs and grabbed my spent copy of _Wuthering Heights_, flopped onto the bed, and began to read.

A few hours passed exhaustibly by, and the weather outside didn't improve. It began to rain heavily, and the wind screeched around the house, scratching noisily across the walls and rattling the windows, attempting any way in.

It was about the time when I began to wonder why Charlie wasn't home yet, that I heard the front door open and close.

'Dad?' I called, skipping down the stairs. It was Charlie and Jacob Black, but something was wrong, my Dad was leaning awkwardly onto Jacob's shoulder. His back seemed bent, hunched, and his head lolled uselessly as if he was sleeping. 'Dad! What's wrong? Jacob?' I ran to them and helped Charlie onto the couch where he curled into the side and coughed, a sound that sounded more like a spluttered, broken choke. 'You're soaked! What's happened?' Jacob ordered me to fetch some blankets and dry towels.

I returned with the bundles in my arms to find Jacob folding up Charlie's wet shirt. He reached up and took the bundles from me.

'What's happened Jacob?' I persisted.

'Your Dad fell into the river, it was raining pretty heavy and it was flowing fast. I managed to get him out, but he's frozen, not to mention half drowned.' He patted him dry, then tucked the blankets tightly around him and sat back. 'If you don't mind, I'd like to stay, my Dad wants constant updates on how he's doing.'

'That's fine.' I sunk down beside the couch, tears burning their way out of my eyes. I took my Dad's hand, his fingers were like ice, fragile and breakable, like they would crumple and shatter under my touch.

'Are you alright?' Jacob looked over me, his eyes tenderly examining my aghast expression.

I think I nodded, but all I could do was look over Charlie's unconscious expression, and feel myself being ripped apart by worry.

'Well,' He carried on quietly, 'we should make sure he gets enough water down him, then later take him upstairs to his own bed so he gets enough rest. He should be fine by morning, it's just a bit of a shock that's all.' Jacob's hair was wet, the short cropped style still held trapped droplets of water, that shinned gently in the soft glow of twilight.

I tore myself away from Charlie, and brushed a hand through my hair 'you look cold yourself, can I get you something dry to wear? I'm sure Charlie won't mind if you borrow something of his'

'I'm fine, thanks though.'

I began to fuss about, tucking the blankets tighter around him, and refilling the glass of water that stood, untouched, on the floor.

I was startled by the shrill ringing of the telephone and jumped up quickly to stop it from waking him.

'Hello?' I practically whispered into the receiver.

'Hey Bella, it's James'

'Oh, hi, how are you?'

'I'm fine thanks, and yourself?'

'I'm okay, what's up?'

'I'm stuck in traffic, and might be a little late, is that okay?'

'What? Oh!' With Charlie ill, the much anticipated evening out had completely slipped from my mind 'actually about that James, I'm sorry but my Dad's ill and I have to stay in tonight to look after him. Sorry I didn't ring earlier.'

'Oh' James hesitated, 'well, that's okay. I hope he gets better, bye' The line went dead.

'Bye…' I sighed and tried silently to put the phone down, before tiptoeing back to the couch.

'Bella?' Charlie's voice was weak, but he propped himself up, leaning his back against the armrest. I sighed in relief and quickly knelt down beside him.

'What's up Dad, are you cold?'

'No kid, just a bit confused. How did I get back here? The last thing I can remember clearly is falling into the river' he looked around and noticed Jacob, sending his eyebrows up into a surprised, wearied smile.

'Hey Jake'

'Are you sure you're not too cold? I interrupted their greeting.

'I'm fine Bella, really. So what happened?'

'Well, Jacob jumped in after you and managed to get you out' Charlie turned to him and smiled gratefully,

'Thank you' he said, his voice heavy with emotion. Jacob returned the smile, then stood up,

'D'you mind if I ring my Dad?'

'Go for it' Charlie choked out the last word and leaned his head heavily against the couch, as Jacob crossed the room to use the phone. I listened to him dialling, and talking to Billy Black, a hushed and hurried conversation.

Giving up trying to eavesdrop, I turned to Charlie and ordered him to drink some water, holding the glass in my hand so he wouldn't drop it,. He managed to gurgle down a few gulps.

'Can you move much Dad? Do you think you can make it up to your bed?' Charlie sighed and pulled his eyebrows together.

'If you get Jacob to help me' he pulled the blankets tighter over his shoulders and pulled himself up into a sitting position, swinging his legs to the floor. Before I could look up to call him over, Jacob was by my side and hoisting Charlie's right arm around his neck. 'Thanks Jake, you're a good guy' I heard Charlie mumble as they climbed clumsily up the stairs.

I was about to follow, bringing the water, when the doorbell rang loudly and unexpectedly. I wondered briefly if it was Billy and Harry. The bell peeled again throughout the silence, once, twice, three times.

'I'm coming, I'm coming!' I called as loudly as I could over the pattering of the heavy rain, and placed the glass back onto the floor. My initial reaction, when I swung open the door, was confusion, which developed into surprise, which developed into a bumbling confused surprised Bella. 'James! Hi! Come in, come in.' James strode quickly indoors and walked around to behind the couch, unsubtly sniffing the air, a strange unfathomable look brewing on his face. I instantly felt my cheeks burning bright red, it was true I hadn't cleaned the house in a few days, but did it really _smell_?

'Who's here Bella?' James questioned me, catching me off guard. Just then Jacob returned down the stairs, him in turn sniffing vigorously. I couldn't tell, but I knew I was as red as a tomato. Jacob paused on the bottom step, while him and James exchanged an incomprehensible look.

'I'm sorry!' I burst out, 'I can open a window or something! I haven't cleaned up for a while but that's just because I've been so busy lately! What with work and… work. But then again I suppose I could have-'

'Bella' James interrupted me 'what are you talking about?' He was calm again, the James I'd first met, smooth and laid back, had I missed something? I turned to Jacob, whose own expression was calm, but I couldn't help picking up his hostile stance, and the strange concentrated look in his eyes.

'I'll be off now Bella' Jacob descended the rest of the staircase and crossed quickly to the door. I held it open for him, rather baffled and expected him to run to his car to avoid the downpour. But he stopped on the porch and turned back to me, 'Call me if you need me.' He spoke very slowly, and looked directly into my eyes, before turning on the spot and walking gracefully into the night.

I closed the door slowly, trying to make sense of his departing words, when I felt the slight pressure of James' hand on my shoulder.

'Are you okay? How's your Dad?'

'Um, yeah he's resting now. Say James, I could have sworn I cancelled our plans. I'm sorry, did I forget to mention that I couldn't go out tonight?' My head was a mess, it could have easily slipped by.

'Yeah you did, then you invited me round instead, remember Bella?' He laughed when my brow furrowed in confusion, and tapped his hand against my temple 'silly.' I laughed, my worries vanishing completely under his sudden touch and informality. 'So… what do you want to do?' He grinned at me , and my heart beat accelerated, sending my stomach into double back flips.

He laughed again, my expression obviously giving me away. 'Let's watch TV then yeah?' He crossed the room and sat down onto the couch, patting the space beside him. My stomach was settled, but my heart beat wasn't, as I folded myself onto the seat beside him, and he slid his arm easily around my waist, pulling my body closer against his. 'You must be tiered' he lulled into my ear. I couldn't disagree, and saw no harm in laying my head against his cheek. 'It's been a long day' that was true as well, what with Charlie, I closed my eyes. 'Go to sleep Bella, I won't wake you.'

_

* * *

_

The meadow was bare, there was no grass, just the hard bitter feel of frost. The boy was running towards me, fast, urgent. It took him 3 seconds to cross the entire space of barren land, and he grabbed my shoulders pulling me towards him and ducking down so we were exactly face to face.

'Wake up Bella! Wake up!' His voice was distant, but his face was clear, burning into my mind. 'Bella! Wake up!'

'But I'm not sleeping I-' The meadow was disappearing around me, and the last thing that I saw of the dream was the boy's face, distressed and crucial.

* * *

I opened my eyes to nothing. The room was dark, but I was pretty certain that I was still on the couch. I began to wonder where James had gone, when the ice cold feel of his hands slid their way across my throat.

_

* * *

_

**Author's note**

**I'm sorry if there are any mistakes! I tried to find them all but they might have slipped by... thanks for reading :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, but I do really like writing about it! **

**I'm really very sorry for any grammer or spelling mistakes, I do try and get them all.**

**Hope you enjoy it, if you want to read it :) **

* * *

'James? James what-' I snatched my hands quickly to my neck, and felt the burning sensation of his touch fading on my skin. His breath was close on my throat, icy and hushed. I felt his hand slide skilfully and systematically up my thigh, and my stomach tightened. 'James' I breathed, placing my hand onto where I assumed his chest would be, pushing it away. He felt my reluctance, and withdrew, flopping heavily onto the couch beside me: frustrated.

I looked around me, confused and disorientated. 'Did I- did I fall asleep?' My voice was little more than a timid whisper.

No response.

'I'm sorry, I don't really know you.' I was shaking, and in the dark, his silhouette was even more obscure, more complex, than the natural shadows around us.

The boy from my dream was fresh, imprinted solidly onto my eyelids. I couldn't get over his departing expression, his features twisted with anxiety. He was trapped in my head, and like a bird in a cage, he was struggling to get free.

I shuffled forwards onto the edge of the couch, and cradled my forehead in my hands. It throbbed painfully, a stray vain furiously pulsating under my palm.

'Bella?' James' voice was smooth, seductive, and alarmingly close. 'Are you okay? I'm sorry - I thought that it was what you wanted' I felt suddenly very hot, sure that I was flushing bright red and for the first time, glad that the lights were off.

'Yes - I'm fine, thanks. I'm sorry too, I just feel a little tired, that's all'

'Would you like to go to bed?'

'No!' My body tensed adamantly making James jerk back at my outburst, 'no, I mean I don't want to be boring or anything' I said, quickly retracing my footsteps. His laugh was a little off key, seemingly out of place in the tense situation. Or was it just me who was tense? I tried to relax my shoulders.

'Bella you couldn't be boring even if you were getting paid' he laughed again, becoming more convincing as it increased in volume.

'Are you laughing at me?' My own pitch had yet to recover. I scowled, Renée had always told me I was way too paranoid.

'Of course I'm not laughing at you' Sarcasm? I tried to analyse him in the darkness, failing miserably, as usual. I was very glad that James seemed to have a natural ability to talk to humans, it was in awkward moments like these that it was very much in need.

He leaped up then, plucking at my already frayed nerves, and flipped the light switch. The eyes that met mine were tight, intense and unfamiliarly dark, opposing the cheeky grin that was etching its way across his glorious features. I couldn't look away in time, already painfully aware of the colour in my cheeks.

Head still swimming, I stood up and went to join James by the staircase.

'How long have we been - is Charlie awake?' I realised with a sharp kick of enlightenment, that James was not the source of my discomfort, and began taking the stairs two at a time to reach Charlie's room. Stopping outside his door, I listened intently to the gentle sound of him snoring, and felt my shoulders relax. Slightly, but not all the way, a knot inside my stomach began to tighten itself as James placed his hand onto my shaky neck. His fingers were as cold as ice, and I found myself standing stock still while he drew them gently across my collar bone. They left a line of fire, burning slowly on my bare skin.

'You're exhausted Bella, you should take more care of yourself you know' his words could have been spoken from a scolding wrinkling aunt, but they released the meticulously caged butterflies inside of me.

'Well,' I couldn't remember what I had planned to say, in fact I was pretty sure my tongue wouldn't have remembered how to move to the shapes of my words anyway. It was a shame, I so wanted to sound witty.

'You're going to bed Bella, don't shout at me this time. I won't take no for an answer'

'But Charlie-'

'I'll watch over the both of you till you wake up again, don't worry. I'll be here' his voice was heavy with some other meaning, I couldn't quite make it out through the sleepy fogginess. I honestly hoped he'd add on the word _forever, _but he didn't. I felt his arms curl around my waist, and he began to tow me towards the bedroom. It wasn't the fact that I didn't trust him which made me uneasy, I did. It was the possibility that I didn't trust myself to trust him. Feeling the bed quilts slide over my body, I welcomed their familiar scents, and fell immediately into the vulnerable world of sleep.

* * *

_The meadow floor was still iced. It shot pains through my spine, searing its way into my bones. But the pain from the cold wasn't what was making me scream. A slow, burning sensation was spreading up through my veins. I could feel the tendons in my neck strain and resist against the agony. It was a combination of fire and electricity, which ripped and seared its way through my left arm, spasming a path with my muscles and joints to my shoulder, my neck. The fire burrowed a way into my bones, scorching the marrow and seemingly turning them to ash. I screamed and screamed and screamed, until I choked on saliva, and coughed and coughed and coughed. The dooming sense of despair threatened to engulf me, and I let it, welcomed it even, greatly appreciating the inspiration to die. _

'_Help!' I tried to cry, but the disability of dreamers lay heavy on my tongue, and it wouldn't move for me. _

_When I thought all hope was lost, a voice brought me back into the present. It was the most melodious, the most beautiful thing I had ever heard in my life, and it was distraught with grief. _

'_I'm so sorry, Bella, can you hear me? I'm sorry' I searched through the pain, wanting to find and to capture this one solace to my situation, this painkiller. My morphine. Where was it? _

''_Don't do this. For me, I love you' The harder I concentrated; the clearer my vision was becoming. The more I understood I was dreaming; the further away the voice was retreating. I could only hear words, just mumbles of anguish. The emotion was clear. _

'_Remember' Where are you? 'Please' Who are you? 'For the best' I need you 'I love you'. _

* * *

The springs in my mattress shrieked like banshees as I threw myself from them and landed clumsily on the icy wooden floor. Cold sweat stained my skin, beading my upper lip, and back, and prickling a path down my throat. The boy, that boy. Something was wrong. That much was certain. The throbbing, spluttering headache was on its way back, stamping happily along my temples. I jolted myself off the floor, failed to find footing, and slammed head-first into the bed side table.

'OWWWW! DAMMIT!' Hot blood seethed through my fingers, while they clasped themselves over my forehead like bandages. This was _not _my night. A little slower this time, I cautiously stood, and crossed the hallway to the bathroom. I wouldn't flick on the light, not wanting to see the sticky red substance which made my stomach curl. Managing to twist on the tap using my chin, I plunged the wound under the cool trickling stream. It stung. 'unngggggghrrr' I half gargled.

'Bella? What on _earth_ is going on?' Charlie's croaky voice demanded from somewhere behind me. 'It's _four am_' I retrieved my head, and fingered blindly around for a towel, which I stuffed against the cut.

'I know, I know, sorry Dad'

'What are you doing?' I couldn't see his face clearly in the dark, but the incredulity in his voice made its point.

'It's early I know, I just had a bad dream, got up and fell over. I'll be more careful next time' I saw him shake his head 'how are you feeling?' I tactically switched the spotlight to him. He sighed, balling his hands into fists to rub his eyes sleepily.

'Been better' was all he grumbled, before slumping out into the hallway.

'Is there anything I can get you?' I asked, stalking him.

'Could you get me some more water? Thanks Bells' Taking the empty glass from the floor beside his bed, I filled it to the brim and placed it back next to where he lay. It needn't have mattered, he was already deeply asleep. I wondered idly whether he'd remember the incident in the morning, while returning to the bathroom cabinet in order to dress my wound. It wasn't as serious as it looked, head wounds always bled more freely than others, I reminded myself. The pain of the nightmare I'd just awoken out of was burned into my memory, and I sat for a long while on my bed, mulling over the possibilities that I had had night cramps. It had to have been, or something along those lines, the pain had been too real to have been just a dream.

Around 6.15 am I thought it would be late enough to resuscitate the dying old computer, and punched at the on button. It whirred to life, the screen flickering black with industrial sized white writing flitting across the convex glass. Once connected, I turned to Google for an answer to my dreams. The website I fished out was boldly labelled 'Dream Interpreter'

_Meadow_, I searched:

_To see a meadow in your dream, represents openness and security. You are taking time out to appreciate your accomplishments. _

What accomplishments?

_Ice, _I typed:

_To see ice in your dream, suggests that you are lacking a flow of ideas and thoughts. You are not seeing a progress in your life. Alternatively, you may be feeling emotionally paralyzed or rigid. You need to let your feelings be known._

_To dream that you fall through ice, suggests that your emotions are threatening to come crashing through._

As my eyes read the words, I found myself wishing they would speak in box standard English; _to dream of ice means you are emotionally unstable. _I suggested for myself. Along the sides of the neatly laid out web page, were columns of options for the viewer to select, one read _'Emotions'_ my fingers twitched the mouse eagerly towards it. What had I been feeling in my last dream? Fear. It was obvious.

_**Fear**_

_To dream that you feel fear, signifies that you__r achievements will not be as successful as you had anticipated. You are having anxieties in certain circumstances of your life. _See scared.

Charlie? That was certainly an anxiety at the moment. But my achievements? It had just, annoyingly, contradicted the first thing it had told me about meadows. I followed the link on to read _scared. _

_**Scared**_

_To dream that you are scared, indicates that you are experiencing self-doubt and feelings of incompetence. You may be feeling a lack of control. Anger often masquerades as fear, so also consider issues about which you are angry about in your waking life._

I didn't know what to make of that either, I was worried about things in my life sure, but angry? That didn't make much sense. And what about the boy? Or was he a man… My head was a muddle, a jigsaw puzzle which had fallen apart. Without seeming to notice, my hand traced along the wheezing machine, and put it mercifully to sleep.

So I was experiencing a lack of control, or movement in my life. Well, I couldn't argue much with that conclusion, stuck here in Forks as I was. But I had thought Forks was growing on me, I think I had even become rather fond of my surroundings, I realised this every time I went to visit Renee in sunny Phoenix. Oh well, nothing made much sense in my life anymore, especially with a person like James interested in me. _James!_ Was he still here? I pushed away from the computer desk and took the stairs more carefully in my haste. The first outbreak of dawn light was seeping in through the windows, basking everything in a bizarre greyish glow. The rooms were all but empty. Oh, I hated to admit it, but a little disappointment was oozing into my stomach, poisoning the bouncing butterflies.

I decided, after a while of staring miserably into space, to go check on Charlie, and to then ring the Blacks. Charlie was sound asleep, and it was Jacob who answered on the second ring.

'Hello?' His husky voice was distracted.

'Oh hi Jacob, its Bella Swan'

'Bella? Is everything okay?' He sounded suddenly anxious.

'Don't worry, Charlie's fine, he's getting up and moving around and stuff'

'What? Oh Charlie yeah, that's great news, I'll tell my Dad'

'Thanks Jacob'

'Hey Bella, do you need any help with anything? Is everything okay over there?' The questions took me a little off guard. He obviously assumed I was not capable of looking after Charlie by myself, I thought, a little rebuffed.

'Everything's fine, thanks. Bye Jacob'

'Oh right, bye' The line went dead. I sighed, and put the receiver back onto the cradle. According to the digital time on the answer machine, it was 7.09 am. Time moved so slowly when you weren't having fun. I'd just about decided to lie down on the couch and to not fall asleep, lest I be troubled by beautiful men and nightmarish surroundings again, when the phone rang. Thinking of Jacob Black, I hoisted myself up to answer it.

'Hello?' I spoke into the one second silence.

'Hi, is that Bella Swan?' It was a female voice who replied, high and dainty sounding, breezing down the line and into my ear like wind chimes.

'Uh yes, who am I speaking to?'

'My names Alison' Stab, a stabbing pain erupted in my head, worse than the dull moaning of a headache, far more acute than a migraine 'I'm co-director of a surveillance company, we're doing a few routine checks of the neighbourhood, can I ask, have you had any trouble recently? In crime form to illnesses?' The pain vanished as quickly as it had come, and I searched through the broken puzzle pieces to find the information she wanted.

'No, not that I can think of, our neighbourhoods a very safe one' I spoke with a little pride on Charlie's behalf, he was one of the best police chiefs this little town had ever seen, I was told.

'Any accidents? Illness?'

'Well- my Dad fell into a river last night, it didn't look good, but he's okay now'

'Charlie?' She sounded un-professionally anxious 'Uh- Charlie Swan that is?

'Yes, do you know each other?'

'No no, and have you had any accidents recently miss? The survey requires as much information as possible, sorry if this is an inconvenient time, I'd be happy to call back late-' she was cut off by some noise on her side, it sounded a little like a squabble… But I couldn't be sure. 'Miss?' She reminded me.

'No, Don't worry I'm not busy,' I definitely wasn't 'I haven't had any accidents outside of my home, just the usual stubbing toes and bleeding foreheads!' I tried to laugh with her, but she was deadly silent. 'Ughmm' I cleared my throat and fought on 'There haven't been any bugs going around lately, although there was a stomach flew around a couple of months ago, but I managed to steer clear of that. Other than that, nothing that I can think of'

'Thank you so much for your time, the survey will be out next month, it's about the safety of neighbourhoods'

'That's alright, happy to help'

'Have a good day' And she hung up the phone.

Charlie slept for the whole day, and far into the following night, waking now and then only to rumble off back to sleep again. At around 10.30 am the next day, he finally woke up.

'Are you awake for real this time Dad?' I teased as he slouched down the stairs and flopped into a kitchen chair. He looked like the living dead.

'Har har, is there-' he obviously was still too tiered to carry on his sentence, and instead looked imploringly over at the food cabinet.

'Sure sure Dad' I began to make him some breakfast, something easy that his weary stomach would cope with. Cereal and banana, I planned, made and placed it in front of him.

'Thanks Bells' He mumbled almost inaudibly. I sat down opposite him, leaning my head in my hands. It's true he did look awful, purple rimmed lids, pink nose and sallow pasty white skin, but his eyes were looking brighter than before, and he was obviously hungry.

'I called Billy to tell him you were on the mend' I mentioned.

'Oh right, what did he say?' He didn't look up.

'Well it was actually Jacob who answered, but he said he'd pass the message on to Billy for me. Charlie didn't respond for a while, he was busy chasing the last of the cereal around his bowl, then he looked up over my head, and spoke from a memory.

'He's a good kid, that Jacob. Always has been actually' He blinked furiously at some moisture in his eyes, 'grown pretty big too' he added on gruffly as an after-thought. I took the bowl from him when he'd finished scooping leftover milk into his mouth, and set it in the sink for later. I was distracted, and uncharacteristically, Charlie noticed. 'What's the matter Bella?' He watched me as I folded myself back onto the chair.

'No, you'll think I'm going crazy' I mumbled, feeling the colour sweep up my neck.

'Bells, I already think you're crazy, what's up?'

'Ha, thanks Dad' he waited for me to continue, 'Well, its just I've been having these dreams, they're pretty scary' his eyes went hazy for a moment, and I thought he would black out, but suddenly they were furious. 'What?' I shrunk away from him.

'Is that why you were cursing so loudly last night?' He accused, 'waking me, _and_ the entire neighbourhood?'

'Jeez, sorry Dad!'

'Yeah! Did you think I would forget?'

'You did forget!' He went silent, sending daggers at me with his eyes.

'Well… I've remembered now. So don't do it again, you nearly gave me a heart attack.' I felt a pang of guilt inside my chest, released like a mouse trap,_ thwack._ I couldn't believe I had to remind myself that my father had nearly drowned last night.

'Sorry' I whispered.

'So,' he carried on, 'tell me about the dreams' It was certainly unusual, to have this kind of deep conversation with him, but after last night's incident, if we hadn't been talking, I would have kicked myself. You only get so long, with the ones you love. I shuddered.

'Well. They're scary, like I said. I'm always in this meadow type place. They used to be quite nice, warm and sunny, but now, they're so bleak and cold. It sounds stupid, but it's scary, really scary' I didn't mention the fact that I had felt real physical pain, or about the angel man who often accompanied them.

'It's good to talk about them you know, means you won't have them anymore' he said gently. And that was the end of that conversation, I scraped away from the table, and went to finish the washing up.

'Did I hear you on the phone earlier?' Charlie spoke throatily over the sound of running water.

'Yeah, some woman named Alison, doing a survey on safe neighbourhoods'

'Oh' he went on to grumble something which sounded like _spies, _but I couldn't be sure. I dried up, then slouched over to the couch, to close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. The headache was back, and I remembered faintly the brief moment of agony I had experienced earlier on, when some woman called Alison had phoned. Damn, I thought, I really hoped I wasn't getting ill. Maybe I should ring her back and tell her about some grotesque headache disease which was attacking me these days. It was when I turned on my side to bury my face into the flattened blue cushion, that I smelled the musky scent of leather. Stunned, I pulled back to find Jacob Black's faded leather jacket draped over the couch. I picked it up to examine it further, surely it was too big for a human being. Surely. It looked more like the cover for a motorcycle, not for the owner.

'Hey Dad' I heaved myself up to look in through the kitchen where Charlie still sat, sipping away at another glass of water. 'Is this Jacob's?' He looked up to observe the mass of black in my hands.

'Yeah it is, you should return that to him, I think its one of his favourites. Though he probably never needs it. That boy is as hot as a boiling stove I swear it' I puzzled over what to do next, should I leave Charlie? I hadn't been out in a while, and I sure could do with some fresh air. 'Go on down to La Push Bella, I'll be fine here on my own.' He noticed my torn expression. 'I'm not a baby Bells'

'No, it's not that, it's just…' He looked imploringly at me, maybe he needed some alone time too.

'Alright I'll return it, but I wont be long down there, promise' I turned to slip into my raincoat, grab my car keys, and walk out the door into the drizzling rain. The truck was freezing as I clambered up into it, and I pulled Jacob's jacket over my shoulders to keep away the cold. It was strange taking the road down to La Push, it had been so many years since I'd been down here. Well, maybe not to the Black's house, it wasn't so long ago that I'd ventured down to the beach with some of my high school friends. As odd as it sounds, I really couldn't remember that night, the first and last things that stuck out in my mind was climbing in and out of Mike's suburban. The rest was hazy, as though a cloud had descended upon the part of my brain which organised my memories. Shaking my head, I thought worryingly of how my memory wasn't as good as it used to be.

The Black's house emerged from behind the trees, as small and cosy as I remembered it. I was instantly attacked by some of my clearer memories; me and Jacob playing in a sand pit, me curiously fingering Billy's shiny new wheelchair. And the scent, the briny, familiar scent of their home stung my nose when Jacob answered the door.

'Oh hi Bella,' he didn't look surprised to see me on his porch, I assumed he recognised the sound of his old Chevy truck, and his eyes were warmer than they had been last night.

'Hi Jacob, I just came to return your jacket, you left it at my house last night. Charlie said it was a favourite of yours' I said, handing the item to him from under my arm.

'Hey thanks! Come on in if you want, I bet my Dad would be pleased to see you' The interior of his home called out to me, warm and dry, with the smell of cooking onions floating invitingly through the door. It was irresponsible of me, but I let him show me into the living room. 'Dad! Bella's here!' Jacob called as he ushered me a place on his small red couch. He sat down next to me, restricting the space with his humungous form. Billy rolled into the room and positioned himself opposite us, a crinkly wise smile etching its way across his skin.

'Hey Bella, how've you been?' I smiled in response, the friendly surroundings put all my worries at ease.

'Good thank you, it seems like I haven't been here in forever' I commented lightly, looking around at the unchanged room. Literally, everything was exactly as I remembered it, down to the slight slant of one of the picture frames which hung on the wall above the desolate fireplace. To me, only the size of Jacob's shoes left by the front door had changed.

'Well,' Billy started, his smile widening 'it sure feels like we haven't seen you in forever.' I was sure he didn't mean it, but his words made me feel slightly guilty for not having dropped by sooner. After all, I had been living in Forks for over three years now. Or, maybe he had meant it.

'Me and Bella met at the beach a few years ago, d'you remember?' Jacob mentioned, looking down to mimic his father's smile, it was odd, but he even seemed to have the same level of experience in his dark eyes.

'Um, yeah I do' I lied, that was a shocker. Why on earth could I not remember meeting Jacob there? 'We had fun' His smile widened at some private memory I was unknowingly a part of.

'I told Bella ghost stories about vampires and wolf men' he grinned, exchanging an incomprehensible glance with his father. Did they know? Did they know I was lying about remembering all this? Maybe they were laughing at me, maybe that wasn't what happened at all…

'Bella? Are you okay? You've gone all pink.' Billy commented, looking over my features, mildly worried. 'I hope you're not coming down with something.' he added on a moment later, his presence distracted. 'How's Charlie doing by the way?'

'Oh, he's better. He was up and walking when I left, though maybe I should be getting back' I was afraid they would think I was irresponsible to have left in the first place. But it was hard to feel anxious in their presence.

'Don't baby him too much Bella' Billy went on, 'He already complains about how much you do for him. I'm sure he'll be fine on his own for a few hours, why don't you and Jake go down to the beach? Refresh your memory of the ghost stories' He smiled at me knowingly, could it be possible? Could it be possible that Billy knew how bad a memory I actually had of that night?

'Yeah Bella let's. Sounds like fun, besides a few of my friends are going cliff diving today. We don't have to join in, but I bet it would be fun to watch' His eyes were brewing with excitement, clearly _he_ didn't intend on just watching. However, I let myself be persuaded. It honestly sounded like the most fun I'd had in ages, well, since my evening out with James that is.

It was a cold, bleak day outside, the remnants of last week's storm rumbled oppressively above us, sinking closer to the ground, as though they were too exhausted to carry their own heavy weight. We walked down to the pebbly beach, my own clumsy feet clattering noisily along the smooth rocks, while Jacob strolled silently along beside me, as though his big feet weren't really touching the ground at all. Pieces of driftwood scattered the shore line, and he headed towards the largest one, looming out of the ground like a dried up octopus. Its legs provided a not-too-uncomfortable place to sit.

'Do you remember much about those stories I told you Bella?' His gaze was out across the moving grey sea. It rose and fell in a majestically methodical like rhythm. If I concentrated hard enough, I could match it against the calm beats of my heart.

'No, not a lot actually' I sighed, it felt unnervingly comfortable to talk to Jacob. 'I don't really remember a lot of things these days.' He smiled slightly, but didn't respond. His mind was seemingly far away across the waves.

'Why?' His outright question caught me a little off guard.

'Umm, I honestly don't know' it was the best I could do. He smiled, again, just like his father, I was under the impression he knew something I did not. Had I hit my head that night? Was that maybe why I couldn't remember… It wasn't impossible, given my record for clumsiness.

'Is there something I should know?' I dared to ask. His eyes tightened, but his lips contradicted them by grinning, almost mockingly.

'Sure sure, there are a lot of things you should know about Bella' He was teasing me,

'Like what?'

'Oh you know… cliff diving' His white teeth gleamed in the light of the emerging sun, eyes once again set alight with adrenaline. I followed his gaze over the sea to where a high cliff face jutted from the mountain side, like the bow of a ship, yet silent and motionless against the battering waves. It was one look, it was all I needed.

'Charlie would freak' I announced, turning back to him to meet his unabashed stare.

'I'd bet you'd love cliff diving, oddly enough' He replied, his voice low and slightly out of place with its intensity. His black eyes bored into mine, and in them I saw a subtle distance, as though he were remembering something far away. 'Well, lucky for you it looks like my friends have chickened out.' He threw a side long glance at the mass of motion to our right, 'Too rough' he explained. Turning my head, I caught once again the distinct outline of the cliffs, and my heart high-jumped at the thought of it. 'We could still go up there though, it really is some view' Jacob suggested, his eyebrows raised, a mischievous grin getting to work across his whole face. Behind him, the clouds parted fully, and the sun stopped playing hide and seek with the rain. I agreed to his propose, a little despite myself and attention to responsibility, and I drove us up the winding narrow path in my truck. Jacob seemed to resent the fact that, up the slope, my faithful old Chevy would do little over 40. I resented him for this comment, and asked him if he wanted to leave the cab and walk the rest of the way. As soon as I'd said this, I regretted it - what was I thinking? Here I was scolding him as though he'd been a best friend for years. It certainly felt that way. But when the words had reached his ears, his face split once again into the playful grin I knew I instantly loved. In fact, at that moment, it looked as though he would have put his arm around my shoulders, as though it was a natural instinct, but he inched further away against the cab door, and let his features slide carefully back into a serene mask-like expression. It felt as though he should have done, but that was crazy, we hadn't seen each other properly in years, after all.

Parking under a tall pine, I jumped out of the truck door, and waited for Jacob to meet me under the dripping trees. He came round the other side, as tall and impossibly graceful as ever, then led me through the ferns, and into the open cliff. The view was indeed shocking, I let out a gasp. Everything I had come to love about Forks was laid and displayed out before me. Emerald tree tops scattered or clustered, grew for as far as the eye could see. And to the other side, the sun blared against the sea in deceitful hope. A mirage of effervescent diamonds rising and falling in a thousand separate glittering waves.

'Beautiful' I whispered. I tore my eyes from the view to find him staring at me, something which looked a little like curiosity darkening his irises. But- there was something else there as well. He started to speak.

'Me and my friends play this game, its kind of like a trust game. One person leans over the edge, while the other holds onto their hands so that they won't fall' an inevitable image of the two famous actors who starred in Titanic leaning over the edge of the ship came to mind. 'D'you want to try?' He dared. I looked towards the edge, and heard the sound of the roaring, hungry, ocean a long way below. Adrenaline coursed through me, flexing along from my pinkie toes to the hairs on my the back of my neck. This was totally unexpected, but I didn't shy away from it. His eyes mimicked my body.

'Okay' I heard the word escape my mouth, before sensible-Bella could capture, tame, and thrust it back in.

Jacob told me to make my body very ridged, this was vitally important. Then he took a hold of my hands and extended them behind my back. My feet were placed steadily enough on the cliff edge, and Jacob's hands were surely bruising my wrists with their grip, but I sure as hell didn't complain about _that._ Slowly, I began to lean forwards, feeling the gentle tug on his arms extend into mine, as he counteracted my action. An immediate wind blew fiercely in through my hair, whipping it up and around my head in its strong, frightening current. It was sharp, and would have made my eyes water had I been brave enough to open them. He knew.

'Open your eyes Bella!' He cried over the roar of the elements. I did as I was told, though it beat my heart to a pulp to do it. I looked down, and felt my stomach fall to the very bottom of where my stunned gaze fell. The sea was furious, bashing and crashing against the cliff face in angry, frightening smashes. Some of the spray even dotted my face, this far up away from the water. But, it wasn't the fall which alerted me so much, it was the dark growing figure which was flying directly up at me. I couldn't see properly, my vision impaired by wild strands of hair and screaming wind, but the dark hulking form grew rapidly larger as it closed in on its destination- _me._ I tried to scream, but the breath had been sucked out of my lungs by the fear, and my voice would not respond. Its wings were black and heaving, and a ghastly, revolting stench entered my nostrils. I couldn't find an explanation for myself fast enough, there wasn't enough time to do anything. Suddenly, all so suddenly, I drifted out of consciousness, my eyes closed and I was attacked by a vivid image of the man from my dreams. He was shouting at me, shouting so loud that is was impossible that everyone in the world could not hear him, let alone me. His eyes were burning, he tried to grasp my shoulders, but found nothing to hold and cried out in frustrated fury.

I was vaguely aware of my legs giving way, and my body un-tensing. I fell.

**A/N - me again! Well, of course it is, who else would it be! 'a/n' ... :)**

**I haven't really figured out all the times and dates for this story yet, but it's set after Eclipse. Thanks for reading (if you did, but then why would you skip to the bottom to read this if you hadn't already read the chapter.. but then you could I guess if that was what you wanted to do) and also thanks if you've read the two other chapters! I haven't been updating very fast at all, so thank you for your patience if you added this onto your alert lists, I really appreciate it! So review if you want, I openly welcome _constructive _critisism! x Thank you**


	4. Chapter 4

I was distantly aware of strong arms tying themselves around my waist, and my body being flung violently against the side of something very hard. I felt my head fly backwards from the force, and crack sickeningly to the ground. Now everything was going black, sense and mind and voice were losing their hold on my consciousness. I tried to cry out for help, to understand what was happening to me, but nothing was working, and I let the blackness win out.

* * *

_I dreamt of nothing, for the first time in a long time, and instead was insanely infuriated by the lack of presence in the midst of the black fog. Pushing out my hands, I searched for anything to hold, anything which I could curl about my fingers and grasp, pulling and tearing a way free of the monotonous density. _

'_Hello?' I called, greeting the silence, 'hello is anyone there?' my own panic frightened me into running, but the floor was sticky, reaching up with black arms to tie around my feet so that I couldn't run, I couldn't move, not for anything - the pain was hideous, burning and searing into my bones. And I cried. 'Please, someone! Help me.. Please!' Now I was falling, but falling through nothing, through an endless void, a vacuum perhaps, there was no air, no light, and no sound. There wasn't even me. With no point of reference, everything ceased to exist, and I disappeared. _

* * *

Sunlight hit me like a blow to the head, stunning my eyes so fiercely that I covered them with my arm. 'Ugghh' everything hurt all over.

'Are you awake?' Someone was asking me.

'Are you blind?' They laughed freely at my sarcasm- clearly I wasn't dead. Slowly, cautiously, I began to remove my arm from around my face, and squinted a way into reality. My head was pumping like a bull trapped in a budgie cage, causing my eyesight to swim and my stomach to lurch uneasily.

'How do you feel?' A humungous form flickered in and out of sight in front of me, looking more like a grizzly bear than a human being. Was it possible? Could bears speak? Had I managed to hit my head so hard that I now found myself in weird world where animals could talk?

'What? Who are you?' I closed my aching eyes in order to clear them, reopening them to find the warm familiar eyes of Jacob Black peering directly into my own. I flinched back in surprise 'Jeez Jake! Have you lost something in my pupil?' He laughed.

'Really Bella, how are you feeling?' I thought about this for a moment, trying to receive and analyse reports from the rest of my body.

'Not too good actually. What happened?'

'You blacked out, but I managed to save you before you fell to your death' He looked smug when I glanced up into his face. 'You're welcome' Shuffling forwards onto the edge of the couch, I cradled my throbbing head in my hands.

'I'm a strong swimmer you know'

'Bella I don't think there's anything about you which is remotely strong' He laughed. I scowled.

'Well it's your own fault for making me lean over the edge of a cliff'

'Well it's not my fault that you were too wimpy to handle it' Something caught me off guard here, as I tried to envision the scene directly before I blacked out. There was nothing. I could think of nothing. Was I seriously becoming senile? Why could I remember _nothing_?

'Arg' I sighed in frustration.

'What's up with you now?' I shot a furious glare his way. 'Jeez' he muttered under his breath. Deciding to ignore that remark, I carried on with my frivolous complaints of old age.

'I just can't remember anything these days' He looked up, surprisingly sympathetic for someone who had just been teasing me about my almost dying a moment earlier.

'I'm sorry about that Bells' He muttered, before laughing loudly and commenting on the fact that I would soon be receiving old age pensions.

Despite the fact that I had hit my head when Jacob had thrown me swiftly deeper into the mountain side, there was thankfully no incriminating mark anywhere visibly accessible to Charlie. And so Jacob drove me home just before dusk, complaining the whole way about how he had once sold my truck so that he would never have to drive it again. It began to rain softly as we turned into the drive, drifting casually down like mist and settling into our hair like a fine layering of spider's web.

'Bella? That you?' Charlie called to me from within the recesses of our house.

'No' I called back, glad to notice my dad's voice was lively and unblemished by chokes for air. We emerged into the living room, to find him splayed over the couch like a rug, the remote hanging lazily from his hand, as the TV flickered its light into the darkening room. 'Couldn't have turned a light on old man?' I smiled, flipping on the overhead lamp.

'You're funny Bella' he commented without mirth, 'oh hey Jacob'

'Hey Charlie, how are you feeling?' Jacob came in behind me, settling himself easily into the armchair opposite.

'Better, thanks, just a bit tiered still. How's you father?'

'Good, he says hi' I left the two to make small-talk, and turned into the kitchen to find the remains of what looked like toast and cereal scattered over the worktops. Again, I felt a sharp kick of guilt in my stomach, having taken much longer than I'd planned.

'Are you hungry?' I called into the living room.

'Yeah' came the synchronised reply from Jacob and Charlie. Reaching into the freezer, I retrieved some old spag- bowl, and set it to heat in the microwave. After the _ping _ended the airy noise, I heard Jacob remark to Charlie in the sudden silence;

'Me and Bella went cliff diving'

'Jake!' I cried, bulldozing my way into the room, 'We did not!' Jacob was lounged in the armchair, a mischievous grin etching its way from one eye to the next, filling me with immediate warmth. I loved that smile, for some reason I was under the impression I had seen it many times before- or that perhaps I would. I had a feeling me and Jacob Black had potential to be very good friends.

* * *

Jacob left after the game, drawing his motorbike from the back of my truck and leaving with such a roar Charlie emerged from his room, mumbled something about 'hooligans' and returned to sleep. It had been a while since I was really alone to gather my thoughts, and I did that now, sitting on the couch and staring into space. And then, I began to cry. Softly at first, but gradually the tears grew until they fell from my cheeks in rivers, and I had to grasp onto the couch arm in order to stay upright. I didn't, and ended up curled into a ball on the carpet, retching and sobbing so hard I thought my eyes would fall out. _What on earth? _Questioning myself made me feel like some sort of patient. _Why are you crying? _I didn't know the answer to that one either. _Stop it! You have nothing to be upset about Bella. _Deciding that using my name in a context such as third person was as far as this game went, I sat up to dry my eyes on my sleeves. It was inexplicable, that I was so crippled by an unreasonable grief such as this. It felt as though there was a demon in my chest, and it ached and tore and ripped a way through me, threatening to break the surface. I remembered painfully back to when I had gone through a bad time about 8 months ago. I had been incapable of anything. It was horrible. Closing my eyes, I turned to lean my head against the side of the couch, letting my face reach the cool air. _Why now? Again? Was it Charlie? Stress? _Yet just like last time, I had absolutely no explanation for my sadness, which only made it worse.

'Emotionally unstable huh-' I muttered out loud, remembering dully back to what Google had given me about my dreams. Sleep that night came on easily, but as soon as I had shut my eyes, I knew I would regret that decision.

* * *

'_Bella, I want to tell you something' That boy. I hated him, why was he plaguing my dreams? I just needed to rest, to sleep a dreamless sleep. No nightmares, no pain, no longing or confusion. _

'_What do you want from me?' I sat up on the brown grass, scraping my knees against the rough shrubs. It was cold, yet I felt warm next to this man, as his dark topaz eyes beckoned mine. 'Tell me what you want' He gazed into my face, a mixture of despair and happiness battling for residence across his beautiful features. _

'_I love you Bella' Simple. It was so simple. His voice was soft and quiet, the wind played with his hair, and his skin was smooth with clarity in the blue-grey light of the clouds. _

'_Why did you say that?' It was so quiet now, everything was silenced. He didn't answer. _

'_I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I left you, please Bella, believe me when I tell you it isn't easy. I need you to understand that I love you' I stared at him; he was exquisite in his desperate anguish, like an angel, a heartbroken angel. _

'_I understand' did I understand? Something tugged at my mind, something painfully sharp and noticeably prominent. He looked down, gripping his hands into fists around the grass beneath us._

'_But you can't. You can't understand- not yet.' He looked up now, straight and honestly into my eyes. 'Do you remember me?' He asked. I searched his face, his bronze hair, his white skin and his warm yet vibrant eyes. I knew I did. _

'_No' He became unmoving, like a statue, or a portrait captured in time, of a man on the edge of a darkening abyss. 'Leave me alone. Let me sleep. Please.' _

I was awake now. My eyes were open, staring blindly at the dark ceiling of my room, it was hard to tell, but I knew someone was here. Frozen to the bed sheets, I stopped breathing, and listened intently to the silence of the house. That's when I heard it, a _thud _against the wall. Tearing myself from the bed, I sprinted across the room and out into the corridor. Thudding noisily down the step way into Charlie's room, I burst in to find him sound asleep, the image of an elderly resting man, quiet and exhausted into unconsciousness. I stood stock still, daring to make a sound in case I woke him. Then, I closed the door, and slid down to cry silently on the floor. _What's happening? _I begged, placing a hand over my own mouth in order to stifle the sobs. _Why am I such a wreck tonight? _It was impossible to answer, and I thought of the boy from my dreams. I had told him clearly to leave me alone, but now all I wanted in the world was to be back in the safety of my dreams- safe in the knowledge that I was with someone who loved me. _But who isn't real._

* * *

The tears dried themselves out on my cheeks, and I began to rise from my cramped position on the floorboards, when I saw it. The colour, so quickly had it been there, and now it was gone. A colour so vividly toned with red and orange and scarlet it could have been fire. Now it was gone, and there was nothing to meet my eyes but the darkness of the hallway, and the eerie glow of night.

* * *

_Now what Bella? _I didn't know. My head was a mess. _Where are you going? _

'I don't know!' I shouted into the silence of my truck cab. _Well you had better stop, it's four am! Just turn around and go home. _'No! I need to do this' _what is it exactly that you are doing? _The silence now was as deep as ever, cut occasionally when I woke from my daydream to hear the roar of the truck engine, and the crunch of tires along the road. I had no idea where I was really going, yet I let auto- pilot drive me down the dark forest roads, surprising myself when I turned the wheel so casually onto another unfamiliar road. Every now and then I would pass under a street lamp and catch my own reflection in the rear-view mirror. It was especially frightening to me this night because of the fact that I looked like I had literally just died and come back to life. But I pressed on, and made a point of ignoring all the mirrors on my car- just in case. Seemingly hours passed, but when I pulled the truck along down a gravel road flanked on either side by thick columns of pine trees, my watch told me it had been precisely 36 minutes since I had left home. I arrived and watched - transfixed as a large solid house emerged from the trees, coming closer towards me. Eventually, I had enough sense to grind the truck to a stop, and cut the engine, but the silence of the forest frightened me, and I flipped it back on. _There, are you happy? Has this proved a point?_

'Yes' I breathed to myself, yes, yes it had proved a point. Somewhere, deep within me something was not right. I had forgotten this place- had never known it? Yet knew off by heart the track down here, all the windy bends and hidden roads. _What is going on? _I stepped down out of the cab, and walked cautiously, fearful it would disappear, up to the looming object, black against the star spread sky.

'Bella?' I turned, frightened and trembling to the source of the noise. 'Is that you?' It was a man, his skin was as white as snow, and his hair as black as coal. He was dazzling, his eyes dark and bright with curiosity.

'W- who are you?' I cursed myself that my voice was so shaky, and now visibly regretted not brining with me my rape alarm Charlie had so awkwardly handed over to me on my 18th birthday. _That's ridiculous Bella, who's going to hear it?_ I wished with all my might that I was wrong.

'What? Bella it's me, Laurent-' Stab. Stab again, that searing pain tore through my brain, and I clutched at it with agony. 'You don't remember?' He stepped a little closer, and the pain vanished. I stepped back in response, trying with all my might to remember some self defence tactics. Two fingers, I displayed at my side, to gauge into his eyes - this would give me time enough to return to my truck and get away. He bent his head slightly, looking deeply into my eyes. 'You really don't remember?' I shook my head, incapable of speaking. 'Where are they then?' He continued, looking around in wonder, 'The house is all but empty, and has been so for years by the look of things. He turned back to me, 'But they can't have gone very far, unless they left you behind? But that seems unlikely compared to all the trouble they went to in order to protect you' He was searching my face, looking for something I didn't know I had. Was it possible that I could have met this man, this exquisite, sharp and dangerous looking man- and forgotten him?

'I think you have me confused with someone else' I was proud to notice my voice had stopped shaking, perhaps all those stage classes with Mike Newton had paid off in the end. He was silent, looking, disbelievingly into my eyes. The silence continued for a moment.

'What, what has happened?' He questioned me. Seemingly as confused as I, his voice low and soft like silk.

'I don't know' I took a step back. _Stupid!_ Stupid! He now registered my fear, like an animal, the predator smelling out the prey.

'So, they left you?' It was painful to talk of something I knew nothing about, but which hurt me so deeply. He took a step towards me, and I mimicked his movement backwards towards the truck. He was dangerous; his eyes were black with excitement, the tension in the air moved between us like electricity. It was impossible that I could escape, I knew he wasn't human. Not an ordinary human, he was something else entirely, and as he advanced again towards me, I broke and I ran. Immediately there was a loud crash from behind me, like the sound of thunder clouds crashing together, and I jumped into my truck, breathing hard and slamming it into reverse all the way along the road, until I hit the open freeway and spun out onto it. I didn't think until I pulled in to our home drive and ran inside, locking and bolting the door behind me. Then I sobbed tearless, half hysterical sobs of shocked relief, until the sun broke through the curtains, and I knew I was safe.

* * *

With day came a sense of perspective. Perhaps I had dreamt it all last night? I suggested, only to be overruled by the muddy stains found all over my sweats. He wasn't anything out of the ordinary then, just a standard pervert that's all. _But he knew your name._ Charlie woke early to leave for work, and seeing me slumped at the kitchen table, came towards me and put a hand uncharacteristically onto my shoulder,

'Bad dreams?' He asked, unaware that last night had been a seasoned mixture of both conscious and subconscious nightmares.

'Yeah Dad, sorry, did I wake you?' I asked, my voice throaty with exhaustion.

'No kid, don't worry. Slept sound as a baby' He removed his hand from my shoulder and went to make the coffee. 'Not that babies actually sleep much -when normal people sleep that is.' After Charlie left, I phoned in to work, planning to take the day off, and ended up being fired instead.

'Great, thanks Clair' I muttered down the receiver.

'Bella you haven't been well for days, just, get some rest okay. Then we can think about you coming back in.' Meaning, Bella, you've been nothing but the best staff I've ever had- hardly any sick days at all. Which is why I don't like having you around. Maybe if I can't find anyone pitiful enough to take my jabs I'll ring you back. Placing the receiver sourly back into its cradle, I turned to the stairs to take a much needed shower. The water was soothing, scorching even. But the melodic thud of the pump, and the sound of water pattering against my naked skin was calming to my frayed nerves. Stepping out into the steamed room, I grabbed the towel and patted it over my hair and body, before wrapping it around me, and slouching grouchily over to the mirror. I began to wipe a whole in the misted mirror, enough for my face to appear like a framed picture of a zombie, and instantly moved to the left, where the glass was still gratefully covered. After brushing my teeth, and throwing on some clean pyjamas, I took the quilts from my bed, and dragged them downstairs onto the couch. Today I planned on being the best couch potato in the world. Yet, the moment I felt myself drifting into a doze in front of the TV, the panic rose once more, and I found myself holding the phone, dialing a number I did not recognise. I let it ring twice, before I hung up, confused, and re-dialed.

'Hello?'

'Jacob?' my stomach eased a little at the sound of his voice, at the sound of _someone._

'Bella, how are things? Is everything ok?' I resisted the instinct to tell him everything was fine, that I was ringing on behalf of Charlie for Billy. And pursued my intent, for the sake of my health.

'No, actually Jacob, can you come round now? I really don't want to be alone today.' There was a stunned pause, perhaps this was too soon, too soon of me to be asking him something like this. But he replied like he would never have replied with anything different;

'Yeah, yes of course, are you ok Bella?'

'I'll explain everything to you if you make it over here in less than 20 minutes' I suggested, pleased to find a smile on my lips.

'I'll make it there in 10 if you make me lunch'

'Done' I put the phone down, and busied myself about in the kitchen, turning the volume up on the TV so that I wouldn't listen to the creepy sounds the house was making. When Jacob arrived I nearly ran to let him in, and threw myself into vice like hug around his waist. He was so _huge!_

'Hey! Everything alright speedy gonzalez? Jeez Bella I literally just stepped onto the porch!' I laughed, letting go and stepping aside to let him in. We ate lunch in front of the TV, Jacob settling down once again into the arm chair, almost half over its size, while I tucked myself into the blankets on the couch.

'So' he started, setting aside the plate which was once carrying three cheese sandwiches. 'What happened?' It was hard to speak about, especially to Jacob. To explain in detail, out loud how stupid and irrationally I had acted. He listened intently, every now and then pausing me to ask a question. He looked worried by the time I had finished, a small frown shaping itself like a y into his forehead, as he sat for a long time in contemplative silence.

'Is there something wrong with me?' I half expected, half hoped that he would laugh, and crack some joke about how I was definitely unstable and dangerous, but Jacob glanced up, then down, and finally slumped his head into his hands. 'Jacob?'

'No' he said at last, his voice almost inaudibly quiet. 'There isn't anything wrong with you' he looked up into my eyes, a small smile developing on his lips 'Of course the meds at the hospital might say differently, I don't know Bella, you are a little crazy' He grinned at me, then coaxed me into laying down, and going to sleep. It was fine, everything was alright, with Jacob's promise to not leave until Charlie came home, I fell instantly into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

That night I slept well, though I had already napped for half the day, Although I left the desk side lamp on. Just in case. The boy was gone, not occurring once in my dreams, and I now sorely regretted the decision to make him leave. Not only had he been a welcome distraction to my sleep, but he had just been so, so beautiful, achingly so. Yes, I sighed, it was a shame to see him go. It made me laugh a little, that the only people who seemed to visit my dreams these days were incredibly beautiful_. _I then began to wonder about James, having not heard from him in a while, I began to think depressingly about how he had taken off sometime during the other night and had not made contact since. Perhaps he had been scared off by the sight of frightened, sleep deprived Bella. My heart ached a little in response, yet with a new found sense of feminism, came to the conclusion that if he hadn't made any effort in contacting me by Sunday, then he was a completely useless, good for nothing jerk. Well… _Monday_, I allowed.

I awoke the next day to find the house empty yet again, Charlie today had decided to leave a note on the table for me; _Jake rang. Says hi- _I laughed a little at my father's incapability to reproduce a message in any kind of literal sense, before retrieving the phone, and dialling the Black's number. It was Billy who answered, and I waited for several minutes while Jake came to the phone.

'Hey! Sorry, I was in the tub' I laughed at the absurdity of such a suggestion. 'Hey, you don't think I wash?' He accused.

'No, it's just I can't ever see you _fitting _in that thing!'

'Oh right'

'Anyway, Charlie said you called earlier'

'Yeah, do you feel like doing something exciting today Bella?' I could hear the grin on his face.

'Exciting as in, yeah this is really fun and exhilarating… Or exciting as in, oh my God I'm about to die?'

'Just wait a minute Bella, in what situation can you ever imagine _me_ putting you in danger?' There was a pause, before we started laughing.

'Listen I'll be round in a half hour as long as you can reassure me this has nothing to do with your motorbike or cliff diving.'

'Bella you're ruining any kind of surprise element here, trust me on this one, it will be fun. See you in 30 minutes' I hung up the receiver, and turned to grab my car keys. Deep in the pit of my stomach, I felt the excitement stirring. I believed Jacob, whatever it was, it was going to be good, and it sure as hell better take my mind off the past 48 hours, I warned, because I never wanted to go through such turmoil again.

* * *

**A/N- sorry if it was a little rusty, I haven't worked on this story for ages! Apologies for the unforgivable amount of time it took me to upload this chapter, I think I'll have to make them a lot shorter from now on! Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a review. **


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